Is Weiner Nuts?

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Defense attorneys often base their client’s case on said person’s ‘unfortunate’ childhood: They tell the jury that the defendant was raised with a history of severe abuse—sexual, emotional, physical (usually some combination) and, therefore, is not totally responsible for the crime s/he committed. They ask for forgiveness, leniency, a shortened sentence or a plea bargain. Sometimes they get it. 

I have great compassion for those children who, through no fault of their own, are so severely damaged by their parents or caretakers that, without acute intervention, they will never, ever be able to live any semblance of a normal, healthy life.

I find this heart-wrenching but, regardless of their childhood trauma, these people are still accountable for their actions and, we can only hope, are appropriately dealt with in our criminal justice system.

It is reported that Representative Weiner was, growing up, a classic nerd who then rose to the ranks of ‘important people in Washington.’ It is said that he was unable to handle his…..

success, that he likely suffers from some diagnosable personality disorder, and that he exhibits the behavior of a sensation seeker. The experts report that ‘he wasn’t thinking’, and that he ‘can’t control himself’.

Anthony Weiner has poor impulse control. He has faulty decision-making ability. He violated his relationship with God, his wife, his family and friends, and the public who voted him into office. He lied overtly and he lied by omission, the later being more damaging than the former.

While I find this ‘unfortunate’ for Anthony Weiner, it’s a grossly inadequate explanation for his lack of integrity and faulty character.

Weiner’s constituency trusted him with their vote. If he doesn’t have the common sense, the laudable values, the decency to keep his privates, well, private, then how can be trusted with lawmaking responsibilities?

He can’t.

In front of the entire world he tearfully ‘confessed’ to making decisions he deeply regrets. He’s terribly sorry for his inappropriate conversations.

I wonder what his wife would say about that. I wonder what he will tell his child once it is born and old enough to understand his/her dad’s transgressions.

It’s my opinion that his ‘confession’ and ‘apology’ was pathetically lacking and that it is not only, unfortunately, par for the course—it’s irrelevant.

That he must resign before he further humiliates himself is not a question, but a question of time.

PS If I were a guessing kind of gal, I’d say that Weiner will resign within 48 hours (tops), his wife will stay with him a short time, and then leave him after he comes out of ‘treatment.’

What do you think? Should he resign? Can he effectively continue to do the job he was elected to do? Let me know what you’re thinking. Write me at

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13 thoughts on “Is Weiner Nuts?

  1. Andrew Vitter, Bill Clinton, Arnold, and many more in politics past, present and future; Tiger Woods, Brett Favre, etc. the list goes on and on and on. We’re quickly losing respect of men and their position in society. Who are these women that stay?

  2. oh yea. Plus the fact that if he is smart enough to get elected, he should be smart enought to have learned from all his predecessor’s that nothing can be hidden? That transparency is the tune of the day? This bothers me the most…that he must have thought himself invulnerable. For that reason alone I wouldn’t want him representing me. And yes, I agree with you totally…he violated many people and God with his stupidity and his lies.

  3. Lisa,
    Great questions!

    In response, I’ll be writing a blog next week talking about why intelligent, savvy and successful women stay and…. why they leave.

    The lack of respect that is exponentially growing for both men and politicians in our country is distracting us from the critical economic issues at home, as well as our participation in several wars.

    I believe in second chances and forgiveness, but public office is, well, public…. more on this later.

  4. Irene,

    The other day my daughter was working on her vocabulary words for school. The first word on her list was ‘audacity.” She asked me what it meant (yes, I sent her to the dictionary to look it up).

    Yesterday she heard about Weiner at school and asked me what was going on. I told her that the meaning of ‘audacious’ is someone who earns the privilege of being elected to an office, but then lacks the emotional and spiritual intelligence to use that position solely for the best and highest good of all.

    She told me that she’d heard back the naked picture of him on the internet, and I asked her what she thought about that. She said, “ewe, gross!”

    Yes, ewe, gross!

  5. Nancy,

    I agree with what you wrote, but I also believe in second chances. Nobody is perfect, even though we seem to expect our elected leaders to be. I don’t know much about Mr. Weiner’s background and experience, but apparently he has done a great job for years and has been very well respected. What he did was very inappropriate, but I believe is a very common occurrence in today’s society, and he just happened to be one of the high profile people who got caught in the act. I personally don’t know how I would handle his situation and live with myself, but others in similar situations have been allowed to continue on in their positions (Bill Clinton, for example).

    I don’t think he “should” resign or be removed, but I think we as a society need to determine if we will continue to accept this type of behavior from our elected officials, because it WILL happen again. Maybe it’s a sign of lower ethics and morals, but Pandora’s box is open and I don’t think we can close it now.

  6. Ben
    Thank you for your thoughtful and intelligent response. I wish it were that easy, don’t you?

    I’m calling this latest event “The Ethics Hat Trick”: Schwarzneggar, Edwards and Weiner. Disappointing. Embarrassing. Ugly.

    Of course, let’s not forget Vitter, Spitzer, Clinton, Thomas, Gingrich, Craig, Haggard, Strauss-Kahn, Woods….. before I run out of room, let there be no doubt as to the point I’m making: The people who are making our legislative laws, are breaking our ethical laws.

    Oh…. but not really. Lying is not a violation of Congressional ethics. The case can be made that these men are but a few bad apples. Then, of course, there’s the other case which states that these men are only the ones who actually got caught, and that this selfish, immature, irresponsible and well, unethical, behavior is actually the rule, not the exception.

    But let us not forget the women (and men) with whom these men are playing, in real time. What about them? What about the women who seduce the men in power? What about the women who knowingly sext with married men? What about the women who think that the only way to feel powerful is to be with someone who actually is? What should we say to them?

    Like you, Ben, I don’t know what I would do were I in circumstances similar to Weiner’s or to Huma’s, for that matter. I believe that we’re all just one circumstance away from doing anything. But just because we can do something doesn’t mean that we should.

    Does one error make the whole person? No! But I can tell you that the crisis in confidence that’s percolating in our country (and around the world) right now is NOT improved when politicians act out their lowest life form. I can also tell you that as a mother, there is no place in the mommy instruction manual that tells me how to respond to my 9 year old boy when he said to me last night, “Mama, why did that man show everyone on the computer his penis?” And, for ethical reasons, I simply can’t tell him, “Honey, I don’t know.”

  7. Thank you Nancy for this article…it seems to be the norm to not be accountable for ones own actions, it is always someone else’s fault. It is one thing to blame others for who you are, it is another to stay that way. We have choices. Weiner is a schmuck! (so many choice names to call him but that one seems to fit.)

  8. Nancy,

    Also, as I said, I don’t know much about Mr. Weiner, and it would be wrong for me to judge him by this one situation. It’s his reputation that needs to stand up for him, and that takes a lifetime to build. It means making the right decisions in life, over and over, even with a few bad ones every now and then. And if he has made the right moves all his life, maybe he deserves to be forgiven.

    Either way, whether he stays in office or not, if he is a strong and successful man he will continue to be strong and successful, whether it be in the public or private sector.

  9. Ben,
    My heart agrees with everything you’ve said. My head, on the other hand, is struggling with abuses by ‘people in a position of power.’

    I have certainly done things that I wouldn’t want the world to know about. And I agree that everyone deserves a second chance. What I want to emphasize is that role models are just that. If you’re in the public sector then you can expect your behavior to be, well, public.

    We are judged not by what we say, but by what we do. And, truthfully, when one exposes themselves, quite literally, then it causes the rest of us to wonder what other poor decisions that person has made.

    I counseled couples just long enough to learn that regaining trust after infidelity, though not impossible, is certainly very hard to come by. Why? Because at the back of the partner’s mind is “What else don’t I know about?” “Who did I really marry?” “How can I trust this person again?”

    The work I’m committed to is supporting people to be the very best that they can possibly be: for them to take their potential and turn it into prosperity of every kind. This requires people to be conscious, deliberate, loving and forgiving of themselves and others. Your point is very well taken and I appreciate the time you took to share your thoughts with us.

  10. Jana
    If we learned nothing else, let it be that one action, and one action only, can erase years of great work, outstanding accomplishments and exemplary behavior.

  11. Nancy,

    Such a thoughtful forum with excellent points all around. My deepest issue with Weiner is that as a member of our nation’s Congress, he has been entrusted with both the authority and responsibility to serve our greater interests.

    I can think of no time in our history where we have needed people of integrity to serve our nation, more that now. Weiner’s behavior has proven that he does not posess the maturity,judgment and courage our nation requires and deserves fromn its leaders. I agree with your prediction that he will receive the karmic lesson. The question in my mind, is whether or not we will all benefit from this lesson, and begin demanding integrity from our elected officials once again.

    I would hate to see this as only “male only” problem with persons in position of power. Whether is’s missaproprationon of funds, sexual violation or tax evasion – to me they are all repugnant and shoudn’t be tolerated. It’s time we demand more of the people we entrust with our country. Let’s all take a look in the mirror and ask ourselves why we don’t believe we deserve better?

  12. Susan
    Thanks for your comments. There are many lessons to be learned from Weiner and his cohort. I’m planning a free public call this coming week to discuss such topics as personal brand, accountability and ethics: How to build them, and how to unwittingly destroy them. Keep your eyes open for more the details.

    That this kind of behavior has become so common place (and no, I don’t believe it’s just a function of us hearing about it more) should deeply concern us.

    There are the people who perpetrate these sexual escapades and then, drum roll….. there are those with whom they do it; the women who have sexual relationships with married men because it’s really ‘cool’ that these famous men ‘wanted’ them. Not to be left out are us, the culture, who allow this behavior to continue by not reacting quickly and strongly enough. Even my 9 year knows there are consequences for misbehavior and dis-empowering actions.There should be a zero tolerance for this type of ‘acting-out’ in our elected officials. It is said that 56% of Weiner’s constituency thinks he should stay in office. I’d love to the demographic on those figures.

    My thoughts: if he’s such a strong, intelligent leader why didn’t he have the common sense to keep his naked penis off the internet? That’s not leadership, that’s psychological illness; and I say that because he did absolutely nothing to disguise himself. Weiner used his face, his name, his ‘business’ profile. Hello? And where was the surprise here?

    Why doesn’t this scandal bother people more than it does? And that he refuses to resign demonstrates the same arrogance that he had in thinking he wouldn’t get caught.

    Stick a fork me. I’m done with Weiner.

  13. Pingback: Don’t Pull a Weiner | Nancy D. Solomon

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